Some months ago I noticed a black and white cat hanging out in the field. As the weeks went by I also noticed an all white cat as well as one that appears to be all black. One day I stopped and looked for these guys and came across the black one: feral. I had already suspected as much, but who knew for certain. Any one or all of them could have belonged to someone in the apartment complex, but that appeared quite unlikely now. As this strip of trees is situated next to a busy road I felt it imperative to try and relocate these cats. Perhaps I could find someone with a farm and/or barn who would take them in? Anyway...
I rented a trap from my local Humane Society and set out to trap these cats, one at a time. The first success was the black and white cat. A handsome little fellow, but his longish fur was matted and he was rather a mess. He lived in the basement in a reasonably sized cage while we waited for his spay/neuter appointment with the Humane Society, which was today.
Of course I spent the cash for the feline AIDS/Leukemia test as I knew there was no reason to return the cat or find it a new place to live out its feral life if it had either of these diseases. It would simply be too risky for any other cats. Unfortunately this was the case with this particular little fellow.
While I know I made the correct decision to have the cat put down (destroyed, put to sleep....whatever you want to call taking his life) it still hurts inside. He spent a month with us, looked up in the basement. He never came to like me even though he saw me numerous times a day. Regardless of the fact I brought him both food and water. Never mind that I cleaned his litter box. He was feral and nothing was going to change that. But I still feel a bit guilty about taking his life.
What right do I have to do such? Who made me his God? I didn't do it for him, but to potentially protect those other cats he may have come into contact with in the future. But there is not future now for him. An overdose of meds to put him to sleep followed by a cremation with other animals who met the same fate.
And now I'm worried about the other two I need to capture as it's likely they too will be infected seeing how they lived so closely with this one.
Today just sucked.
